Life is like a varicose vein. If you are a young person reading this, you will most likely not find much interest in this topic. Aging. The joys of it. Now, to be clear, I do not bemoan the fact that I'm aging. The only alternative is dying. That being said, I do have plenty of complaints about the symptoms of aging.
I turned forty back in October. I've never been one to worry over the numbers too much. I didn't dread turning the BIG 4-0. Forty does bring with it a certain self-awareness, though. I'm old. I'm more likely to become a grandma now than I am to become a parent, again. I remember when my mom turned forty. She was such a grown-up! I'm nowhere near being that mature or responsible! Is my life really half over, maybe even more than half?!? Yep. That's entirely probable. What have I done with my life? Enough of that! This isn't that kind of philosophical post, well not exactly.
Do you remember your parents having to hold their reading materials at arm's length to be able to read them? I always thought that was the most bizarre thing! How on earth could holding something farther away make it easier to read? Shouldn't it be the other way around? The answer is, no. I don't do a whole lot of reading, aside from the reading I do online. I can adjust the size of my font to suit my failing eyes there. I cannot adjust the size of the font in the hymnals at church, though. That was where I first started to see the benefit of having longer arms. When my arms just weren't long enough anymore, I decided it was time to revisit the eye doctor. This was just a couple of months ago. To paraphrase what my doctor told me, I am getting old. That's not far off from how he put it. It was the first time I'd ever gotten a speech about how my body is aging, and this is natural....blah, blah, blah. I finally "get" why my mom wore those little half glasses on a string around her neck. Yep! You just never know when you might need to actually see to read something. I can't bring myself to do that just yet, but I know it's coming.
Another symptom is one's new-found ability to predict the weather. Most of us have someone in our lives that could always tell when the weather was "fixing to" change, most likely a grandparent. Their arthritis would act up. "Rain must be comin'! My ARTHURitis is acting up." I'm not willing to call my predicting skills arthritis yet. Let's call it inflammation of the knee. That sounds so much better. The alarming thing is that I'm starting to feel long-forgotten injuries. Things that happened eons ago are rearing their ugly heads, again. That can't be a good sign! There's no such thing as a simple fall now. You know, if you hit very hard, you'll be feeling that for months. I fell on some wet steps nearly TWO years ago and busted my tailbone. That sucker still hurts every. single. day.
I do feel blessed when it comes to wrinkles, though. My eyesight is just poor enough to keep me blissfully ignorant of the effects of time marching across my face...and hands. Let me give you some advice. Do NOT wear your glasses while applying makeup. Be contently unaware of what age is doing to your face. On a side note, DO wear your glasses when plucking any kind of hairs on your face. Whether it be eyebrows or that occasional whisker that just won't go away, glasses are your friend for this task. If you are thinking, "WHAT WHISKERS?," just wait. You'll understand soon enough. Just be cautious not to study the rest of your face too closely while the spectacles are on. I recently looked down at my hands while singing at church and was appalled at what I saw. WHERE did ALL of these lines come from?? I was seriously shocked for a minute. Then, I remembered. You're wearing your glasses. It was a harsh dose of reality that I could have done without.
Tonight, while dressing for bed, I looked down at my legs. It seemed like every vein in them was illuminated. I started studying them more closely (without my glasses,) only to find new varicose veins that had popped up. This may be the toughest pill for me to swallow yet. I don't want a road map all over my legs, especially my lower legs! I still let them out in public during the warm months. Like a ton of bricks, it hit me. I can't undo the things that have caused these veins. I can't go back and uncross my legs during church. I can't go back and make myself skinnier for the last twenty years. I can't make myself younger. All of those factors have culminated in these varicose veins that have suddenly appeared.
I started this post by saying that life is like a varicose vein. It is. Everything we do, everything we don't do, everything that happens to us builds upon one another to create this ride we call LIFE. We may not notice today the effects of our choices. We can not go back and change our past. One day, it will all reveal itself to us, maybe suddenly, and we may have regrets. It will be too late for the veins that have already popped, but we can improve upon today and make a better tomorrow for ourselves. So, don't stand in one place too long. Don't sit in one place too long. Let go of the dead weight you're carrying around. Make the best of the situation you are in today.
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